


If I have you

by poutyhuang



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Best Friends, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Lee Jeno is Whipped, Love Confessions, M/M, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Panic Attacks, but not really, jeno is a sad boy, school is hard man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poutyhuang/pseuds/poutyhuang
Summary: Jeno is having a bad day; lucky for him he has a Jaemin to help him through it
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 96





	If I have you

Jeno was so done at this point. He was always high strung and anxious but this day in particular was really fucking him over. Not only was he late to school because his car broke down, but he forgot his notesheet his stats teacher was allowing them to use on the biggest test of the semester, which he’s almost positive he ended up flunking. To top it all off, his mentor in the science department chewed him out for not being on top of organizing all the components that needed to be in order for his capstone project. 

Lee Jeno hated being a senior with a passion. 

Why did he overload his schedule his senior year you may ask? Because he’s an absolute dumbass would be the answer. All Jeno wanted to do at this point was go home and have a good cry. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option since it was only 4th period. Jeno bounced his leg restlessly, waiting for class to be over. 

Once the bell rang signalling that Lunch A has started, Jeno bolts out of the room.

Keeping his head down low, he quickly made his way over to the closest bathroom, letting out a sigh of relief as he let the lock click into place. 

He knew he had to calm down before his slight heaving turned into a full blown panic attack so he fumbled around in his bag, looking for his phone. Shakily untangling his earbuds, he plugged them in, putting his playlist on shuffle. He choked back a sob as the first chords of the song rang out. Of course this was the song that played out of all the songs on his playlist at this moment. 

“Help me, It’s like the walls are caving in.”

Jeno crumpled against the door of the stall, letting himself slide down until he sat on the disgusting floor, not really caring about how dirty it was at the moment. He wasn’t claustrophobic or anything, but the bathroom stall seemed to be too small yet too spacious at the same time. It was disorientating looking up at the ceiling, the fluorescent lights almost burned his eyes, so he opted to look at the divider separating the two stalls instead. Finally letting his tears fall, Jeno drew his knees to his chest, quietly sobbing as he buried his face in his knees. He clenched his hands as they splayed around his frame, gripping the flesh at his sides to give him some sense of reality. 

“Sometimes I feel like giving up but I just can’t; it isn’t in my blood.”

More sobs wracked Jeno’s body as he thought about all the assignments and commitments piling up against him; there seemed as though there was more for him to do each day, even as he completed the tasks one at a time. His parents would never allow him to drop any of his activities or let his grades slip and frankly, he wouldn’t either. That’s just not how he was raised. 

“Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing.” 

There Jeno was, sitting on the bathroom floor at his high school, having a mental breakdown, nowhere near feeling nothing. All the emotions he had been repressing for months on end came pouring out, as though the carefully constructed dam Jeno had built in his mind had finally given way.

“I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something.”

Those were Jeno’s two constant moods. Overwhelmed and insecure. It was a horrible way to live, but did he really have a choice in the matter? There was no one Jeno felt safe enough around to talk about his issues with; he didn’t want to put that burden on others. 

As he took a shuddering breath, his music quieted down and his phone buzzed. Snapping out of his daze, he picked up his phone to see that he got a text. Well, multiple texts in fact.

Jaem  
Where are you???   
Lunch started a while ago  
Jennnnn  
Jenooooo  
I miss you  
Dude I haven’t seen you all week :((((  
Smh  
Jen I’m actually getting worried now   
Fuck it I’m coming to find you 

Jeno stared at his screen through bleary eyes, letting it fade to black as he processed Jaemin’s texts. Jaemin was coming to find him. Jaemin. Na Jaemin. His best friend of 7 years and crush of 4. 

Jeno starts hyperventilating. He can’t see me like this. 

With shaky hands he yanked the earbuds out of his ears, the music getting to be too much for him to handle. Even without the earbuds he could still faintly hear the strum of the guitar as the song continued on. He swallowed the sob rising in his throat as he kicked his phone away, desperate to escape the noise as his skull begins to pound. That combined with the feeling of his heart beating in his throat was enough to throw him even further off the edge. He didn’t even try to muffle his sobs as he tilted his head back, painfully banging it against the wall on the other side of the stall. He didn’t know how long he sat in that position until the door banged open. Jeno knew he had to stop crying since someone else was in his presence, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than sob his heart out. 

The ringing in his ears dulled as he heard a soft “Jen?” 

He took in a sharp breath, which turned into a hiccup as he finally garnered enough sense to try and muffle his cries. 

“Jen, is that you?” The voice asked with more clarity than the first time it called his name. 

Jeno felt like he was underwater. He couldn’t breathe and everything he was hearing sounded muffled. 

“Jen, please unlock the door.” The voice called out again, laced with a hint of desperation.   
The most coherent response Jeno could give was a whimper.

“Jen, if you don’t open this door right now I’m going to crawl under it.” The voice said, seeming closer than the last time. Jeno nodded his head even though the person couldn’t see it. He buried his head in his knees again, digging his chin into his chest to serve as some sort of distraction from the swirling cesspool that was his thoughts. 

Jeno listened to the shuffling coming from the other side of the stall door until he felt a presence beside him.

“Jeno, is it okay if I touch you?” The voice asked again, close as ever. Jeno knew it was Jaemin but in this state he couldn’t completely process that fact. 

After a few minutes of no response from Jeno, a hand slowly crept into his line of vision, hovering just before his face. 

“Jen-”

Jeno didn’t let him finish, grabbing his hand in a vice grip and bringing it to his chest, letting out a small wail as he did so. Jaemin took that as an okay from Jeno and slowly wrapped his other arm around Jeno, resting his cheek on his chest.

“Shhh, it’s okay, let it all out.” Jaemin said, sliding his arm from Jeno’s waist to rest against his shoulder, gently running his fingers through the hair at the nape of Jeno’s neck. Cries now muffled by Jaemin’s shirt, Jeno continued to cry, harder than before, with enough force to shake his whole body. Jaemin continued to coddle him as he sobbed, one hand clutching Jaemin’s shirt, the other holding Jaemin’s hand tightly against his chest. 

Jeno didn’t know how long he sat in Jaemin’s arms, crying but soon enough the bell rang again, signifying the end of their lunch period. Jeno began to pull away with a light sniffle but Jaemin gently guided his head back down to rest against his chest once again. 

“I’m not going anywhere baby, I’m staying right here until I know you’re alright.” Jaemin said softly, rocking Jeno back and forth as he pet his hair. Jeno let out a grateful sob, still unable to formulate any type of intelegable responses. 

They sat there, rocking back and forth, until Jeno’s cries died down to small sniffles now and then. Jaemin gently lifted Jeno’s face up and wiped the tears on his face, staring at him with such a loving look. Jeno felt so blessed to have someone in his life as caring and selfless as Jaemin. Although he jokes around a lot, he’s very comforting when the situation arises.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin asks softly, brushing the hair out of Jeno’s eyes. 

“It would probably be best if I did.” Jeno croaked out, voice hoarse from crying. 

“There’s no rush.” Jaemin said, still fixing Jeno with that adoring stare. 

Jeno took a deep breath before opening his mouth. 

“W-Well this morning my car broke down and then I forgot my stats notes at home because I was too busy stressing about my car and then Mrs. Jayeong scolded me about my caps and-” Jeno was hyperventilating again. 

“Shhhh, calm down.” Jaemin whispered, rhythmically stroking Jeno’s hair. 

“Sorry.” Jeno’s voice broke as he said it. 

“Nothing to be sorry about Jen, just take it slow.” Jaemin muttered, running his thumb along Jeno’s hand, which was still linked with his. 

“M’kay Jaemie.” Jeno muttered into the cloth of Jaemin’s shirt after burying his head there once again. Jaemin felt like home. Jeno allowed himself to indulge in the feeling for a while longer until he shifted his face up to look at Jaemin again. 

“Aren’t you missing class?” Jeno asked, peering up at Jaemin. 

“Yeah, but you’re more important than whatever bullshit Mr. Yudae is spouting about the Korean government.” Jaemin said with a goofy smile. “And about your stats test, Mrs. Dayong offers retakes. I know you’ve never had to take advantage of her retake policy since you’re such a smart cookie but that’s why it’s there, Jen. I’m sure she’ll understand your situation.” 

“You’re right, I don’t know why I overreacted about this.” Jeno said sullenly, feeling embarrassed that he’d let his emotions get the best of him. 

“Hey, look at me.” Jaemin said, continuing on once he’d gotten Jeno’s attention. “Your emotions are valid. Repeat after me, Your emotions are valid.”

“My emotions are valid.” Jeno muttered, looking away from Jaemin’s piercing gaze. 

“And don’t you forget it.” Jaemin said, breaking out into a bright smile. 

“Would you still think that if I told you I loved you?” Jeno asked softly. 

Fuck. 

Where did that come from? Curse his delirious brain for not having a filter. 

“Of course I would.” Jaemin said without missing a beat. “Lucky for you, I just so happen to return that sentiment.” Jaemin said with a mischievous smile. 

Jeno’s heart was beating out of his chest. 

“Wait, no joke?” Jeno asked, looking at Jaemin incredulously. 

“Why would I joke about this, Jen?” Jaemin muttered, mindlessly playing with Jeno’s fingers. 

Jeno stared at Jaemin, trying to comprehend the idea of someone, Jaemin of all people, liking him back. 

“Are you going to say something or just sit there all shell shocked?” Jaemin asked, tilting Jeno’s chin upwards teasingly. 

Jeno jerked back, alarmed as Jaemin leaned forward.

“What’d you do that for?” Jaemin whined, pout evident in his voice. 

“We are not having our first kiss in a bathroom stall while I look like a hot mess.” Jeno said, giving Jaemin a pointed look. 

“Too bad, I want to kiss you.” Jaemin said stubbornly. And Jeno should know by now, what Jaemin wants Jaemin gets. 

Jeno sighs resignedly as he feels Jaemin’s hot breath fanning against his lips once again. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jaemin asked, not actually wanting to pressure Jeno into doing something he didn’t want to do.

“Yes, you dumbass.” Jeno answered, lightly grabbing at the back of Jaemin’s neck to bring him closer, finally closing the gap between their lips. 

Jaemin let out a content sigh as he lazily moved his mouth against Jeno’s, bringing a hand up to cup Jeno’s face. 

“I really love you.” Jeno said, breaking away from Jaemin and putting their foreheads together. 

“I really love you too, doll.” Jaemin said with that same teasing grin. 

“Gosh, your pet names really are going to be the death of me, Jaem.” Jeno said exasperatedly, grabbing the hand splayed on his cheek and linking their hands. 

“No, don’t die Jen, we just got together.” Jaemin fake wails, drawing Jeno to his chest once again. 

“You never officially asked me out.” Jeno said with a pout, struggling to escape Jaemin’s tight grip.

“My bad, Lee Jeno, the love of my life, would you please do me the honor of being my lovely boyfriend?” Jaemin asked, ever dramatic as the theatre kid he is.

“Why of course Na Jaemin, I’m so glad that you asked.” Jeno responded, indulging Jaemin with his theatrics. 

The two dissolved into giggles after their declarations of love and lay content in each other’s arms again. 

“Thank you for making today better, Jaem, I really appreciate it.” Jeno said sincerely, fixing Jaemin with a loving gaze. 

“How could I not do my best to make you happy Jen, you deserve the world.” Jaemin responded, smiling blissfully at his boyfriend.

“Stop being so cheesy!” Jeno squaked, lightly hitting Jaemin’s shoulder.

“What? It’s the truth!” Jaemin said, throwing his hands up in defense. 

“Hm, okay.” Jeno hums contentedly, hugging Jaemin again. 

“I know you’re not going to like the idea of this since you’re the model student Lee Jeno, but how about we skip the rest of today’s classes and just head home?” Jaemin mumbles against Jeno’s hair. 

“Sounds like a plan to me, I really am spent. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to sit through the rest of my classes.” Jeno answered, nuzzling Jaemin’s neck. 

“Are you really going to make me carry you out to the car lot?” Jaemin asked, giggling as Jeno stubbornly clung to him as he tried to stand up. 

“What of it?” Jeno asked, burying his head deeper into Jaemin’s neck. 

“I have no problem with it but the student body and all the teachers might, Jen. Should I remind you that there’s no excessive PDA allowed in school?” Jaemin chuckled, trying to gently pry Jeno’s hands off his waist. 

“Fine I’ll walk, but we’ll watch a movie when we get to your house?” Jeno said, reluctantly letting Jaemin lift him off the ground. 

“Anything for you, darling.” Jaemin said, looking smitten. 

“You’re so annoying.” Jeno said with a huff, albeit cheeks flushed. 

He grabs his backpack and his phone, then Jaemin’s hand, before the two set out to leave the school, careful to not be seen by the resource officer on their way out. 

Collapsing in the passenger seat of Jaemin’s car, Jeno turned to Jaemin once again.

“I’m so in love with you.” Jeno sighs. 

“And you say I’m the cheesy one.” Jaemin said, rolling his eyes playfully. 

“Maybe we’re both cheesy.” Jeno said absentmindedly, grabbing Jaemin’s right hand and linking it with his own, resting them on the center console. 

“You’re lucky I can drive with my left.” Jaemin said, looking behind him as he pulled out of the lot. 

“That’s a bad habit Jaem, you should drive with both hands.” Jeno said, playing with Jaemin’s fingers. 

“Well then let go of mine.” Jaemin responds, eyes on the road. 

“No.” 

“Okay.”

Jeno looks out the window as Jaemin drives away from the school, letting the cool wind blow through his hair, in contrast to the warmth supplied by Jaemin’s hand intertwined with his own. 

Maybe today wasn’t that bad after all. No day could be bad for Jeno as long as Jaemin was a part of it.

**Author's Note:**

> jeno is jaemin's baby change my mind
> 
> anyway the end is a mess but i hope you enjoyed reading :DD


End file.
